Geez, you know, I hate to be another detractor going after Britney Spears, but I just can’t help myself. One of her latest songs and videos – written by Ke$ha – features Brit writhing around (yes, I know, nothing new…) in a head to toe studded, half leather, half stocking thing, flipping her hair about and dancing up a storm in a sewer with a bunch of other beautiful people, clad in gear ordered from the Super Sexy Post Apocalyptic Outfitters catalogue.
I know, I know, shoot me. I have been caught, in the past, wearing clothes ordered from the same catalogue, but … but, I wasn’t singing about the day of tribulation, the abomination of desolation, the great Revelation; I was singing about much more vacant matters, which makes it somewhat excusable. Well, okay, maybe not….
Firstly, if it was the end of the world, I wouldn’t be cutting the rug in two feet of, well … POO, in my thigh highs.
Secondly, I would be: hoarding canned goods and high tailing it to the nearest mountaintop, NOT bossing the DJ around.
Thirdly, I would be freaking out, which for me, might look a bit like dancing, but probably not.
She doesn’t seem at all bothered by the fact that buildings are crashing down around her like the Twin Towers on 9/11, or the fact that pitch correction will likely be obsolete in the future.
And where are the children? She is on a special planet with no children, where people have dance parties in sewers. Alright, I’ll stop….
The sad fact is that I think she actually has talent.
I suppose this pushes buttons for me as, looking back, I sheepishly admit to making a moronic video or two. Or three. Yes, definitely only three.
Last night Angella came to me quite excited and wanted to see the video of me with the huge robot thingy. At first I wasn’t sure what she was talking about, until she shared that a boy in her Grade 2 class told her – according to him – that her mom had a video with a super-cool-monster-robot thing that breathed fire.
I realized she was talking about the “Metal Queen” video: the one with the stupid aluminum drum riser that was supposed to look like a menacing space-spider and ended up looking like a giant tin turtle that wobbled with every snare hit. Alas, one of my greatest artistic disappointments … well, next to signing my “in perpetuity” contract with Attic Records. You get over it.
We watched for about 40 seconds until Angella, bored stiff, said “What robot thingy??” I had to find it and freeze-frame it just before the second chorus.
“That thing … that’s what Jayden is talking about?” she asked.
“Well, I think so…” I said.
She promptly jumped off my lap and ran to join Jett, who was playing a game of Skylanders on Wii.
Apparently if you are pre-CGI you are prehistoric. And not very cool.
Good thing I’m okay with that….
{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }
“Lee Aaron is a heavy-metal diva. A Jagermeister-drinking, hard-partying, sexy rocker chick. Music video had emerged as the hot new medium, and the song’s video quickly became a coming-of-age fantasy for teenage boys everywhere.”
Well first off let me admit freely that you were absolutely all those things to me and much more. But i must say that none of those apparent misconceptions in any way reduced my view of you as a VERY talented writer and musician. Every metal band out there was portraying those attributes male or female.
Get ready for it! Some may consider this inspirational. Then again others may think of me as a retarded dreamer and boring too! Lol…
When I was young I wanted to play but had no avenue to do so. Then as I was married with children by 22 I had no time or money. I messed around a bit but life got in the way. Keep reading! this does have a point! At about 36 yrs old I got a deal on a new Peavey V type guitar and about 6 months later bought a nice Marshall amp and was trying to teach myself again as a hobby.
i figured I should learn beats so, years before, I had acquired a near destroyed Westbury drum kit so I repaired it. I began to play the drums and quickly became addicted, to the horror of my family and neighbors. After about 6 months of playing and complaints I elected to pick up a used yamaha dt explorer and some good head phones to resolve the complaints.
I played that kit for about a year and at that point I was told by others that I was good enough to be in a band? I took that idea seriously but to hit stage behind something that looked like Lego is unacceptable. Keep reading! I will get to the point! So I start looking at kits and me being me I decided on top of the line Acquiring a Roland TD 20, pearl eliminator hardware and a big assed Gibraltar throne With a back rest “cause I had a very bad back and it was time to retire the high back kitchen chair i was using. I also acquired a hell of a lot of debt. Lol… Over the course of the next month I was practicing feverishly to accustom my self to the new kit but My legs slowly stopped working. My chiropractor and doctor were both worriedly scratching their heads. A set of x rays of my spine when compared to a set a year previous showed that my vertebrae were disintegrating. But they couldn’t figure out why. Well an MRI and testing told the story I was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma Which is an incurable blood cancer and it was a tumor putting pressure on my spinal cord that was causing the paralysis. So I got to enjoy the rigors and challenges associated with emergency radiation. and a year + 3 months of straight chemo and a stem cell transplant. Now I’m getting cataract surgery on both eyes a gift from chemo. and finally here I sit sending you a message I’m 44 yrs old I’m as good as I ever was minus damage done. I can’t find anyone to jam or gig with cause I’m either too old. or they’re too busy or already in stable bands but that don’t bother me too much cause I can still play by myself! While this story may sound depressing It is absolutely not. It’s just my journey. There has also been a tremendous amount of love, Inspiration and humor along with the lows. I can honestly say that Cancer was the worst thing that has happened to be but it has also been the Best. There are a countless number of things I would not trade this for!
Finally the POINT: When my legs didn’t work I played with my hands. When my legs started to work again. I started using them slowly in my playing but could only accent. while I was on chemo I played In hospital waiting rooms and beds I always had my mp3 player and a set of sticks and i played. When I drove I played on the steering wheel. When I had my stem cell transplant i had my little DT explorer kit with me set in front of the window and I would sit in my pitch black isolation room at midnight watching the city as I played or mask up in the middle of the night, escape my room, to the basically abandoned mall area and beat the hell out of a practice pad as I watched staff clean the floors. Regardless of my condition Physically or mentally I will turn on my Mp3 player and when I hear songs by you and other well rounded bands of the era they motivate me to migrate to the drum kit To cover it by ear. To me your music is every bit as inspiring and motivating as Metallica, Judas priest, Rush, Ozzy, Dio, Ect.
This I can promise! I will succeed in my goals or die trying. The determination to do so is mine but the motivation and inspiration belongs to you and all of your metal cohorts of the era. Do I consider you a sex pot? Damn rights I do! I consider you one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen. But the fact is I always knew you were blessed with both great intelligence and talent also. Triple Wammy! any wonder you have fans????
Alive and Kickin!
Cheers!
Clay